What if my therapist thinks I’m weird?

I do.

And that’s great. Because so am I.

The sheer amount of times I’ve had clients tell me some variation of, “you understood that?” or, “I can talk about this here, too?” astounds me. I want the therapeutic space to reflect who you truly are, so if that means we integrate the hobbies and special interests that you spend a significant amount of your life with - why wouldn’t we do that?

Therapists/counselors are trained to listen and to connect. We aren’t here to tell you what to do, we’re here to help you reach the goals that YOU want to reach. And part of that therapeutic process is the use of…

(We listen and we don’t judge~.)

Pause for dramatic effect.

That’s right, folks. Your therapist cares about you. We want you to succeed. Having Unconditional Positive Regard means that we accept you for who you are, and that acceptance doesn’t disappear based on what you say or think. You don’t have to meet any particular definition of “normal” for us to accept you as you are.

We want to ally with you in your therapeutic work. A therapist isn’t family, a friend, or a partner (and any therapist who tells you otherwise is a red flag). But, we are here for YOU and know the importance of establishing safety and acceptance in the clinical space. Even if we have to call you out on some things, we do it because we care.

When I use the term “weirdo” it is with the utmost respect and affirmation. I’ve never quite felt like I’ve fully fit into any particular category or label either - but because of this, I’ve had the ability to really connect with others that have found themselves in the same boat.

For many people, the idea of going to therapy or counseling is, in and of itself, enough to make us “weird” or different. Things are thankfully taking a turn to become more accepting of mental health in general, but by no means has the stigma been fully eradicated.

Some relate to being a “weirdo” and want to shrug off this shroud of other-ness that creates or magnifies obstacles between themselves and the people, practices, and experiences that they want to feel “normal” in.

Some relate to being a “weirdo” and take pride in the title. It’s a mark of connection with other weirdos. There isn’t a desire to be rid of the weirdness, but a desire to find our comrades on the Island of Misfit Toys and find validation in our unique identities.

(“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo.”)

Some people don’t know WHAT they want to do about being a “weirdo.” Or they change their minds based on particular environments or situations. (I’ll be weird with my friends, but if my co-workers saw me posting brainrot tiktoks … no, they didn’t.)

When you enter the counseling space, you should feel heard, validated, and accepted! There are many that view counseling as a way to “become normal”, but I find it more helpful (and more genuine) to instead use counseling as a means to forge strength and confidence in our unique approaches to life. What does “normal” even mean, anyway?

For others, the process of therapy has been helpful, but still feels somewhat disconnected. I’ve had my own experiences talking with a counselor and thinking, “okay, but how do I even begin to explain that feeling in the context of _____?” and kept things pretty surface level due to lack of a stronger connection.

I don’t recommend it. It didn’t feel like I had a fully open working relationship that took all parts of myself into account in my healing.

How does one accurately and clinically express the following image in a session? Because oh man did I try.

Hannibal Lecter, arms outstretched, announcing his triumph over mental illness. But we all know …

So the TLDR:

If you are worried about your therapist thinking that you’re weird: Please talk to them about it! Especially if you believe this is related to any other aspect of your life that you’re wanting to bring to therapy. (Feeling socially anxious, lonely, misunderstood, etc.)

Kinks, body mods, collections, hyperfixations, what have you - bring ‘em on in!

And if you find that, after opening this conversation with your therapist, there is judgement or dismissal … it’s okay to find someone else who IS a good fit.

Shine on you wonderful weirdos.