Stages of Change - Counseling Insight Check
So you’ve decided you want to reach out to someone for support with your mental health. Maybe you have someone in mind that you think really should be reaching out for help, but … somehow it never happens.
Stages of change are a way of figuring out just how “ready” we might be for any big change in our lives. You can use this framework to look at tons of areas in your life like: deciding to change careers, taking a relationship to the next step (or leaving a relationship for that matter), going back to school, or resolving to set firmer boundaries with family.
For our purposes, let’s talk about the process of deciding you want to get some mental health support. Counselors, think of this as getting an Insight Check from your client. Clients, think of this as the process of Readying an Action.
These days talking openly about counseling and psychotherapy is much more common, but there’s still an ever present stigma that goes along with it that is impossible to ignore. Coupled with that, those of us who have spent the majority of our lives dealing with mental health issues, traumatic experiences, or who have never known any other option for coping may not even realize how much better we stand to feel after getting support.
People have a tendency to keep doing what they’re doing if they think it “works” for them. Even if we experience consequences for how we approach things, those consequence have to matter to us in order for them to make an impact and have us consider, “maybe I should figure out how else to go about this.”
Typically, where we fall on this spectrum of “readiness” for change falls into one of these 5 stages.
Precontemplation - not interested in or not ready for change
Contemplation - thinking about changing, but not committed to it
Preparation - learning more about options and resources if I do want to change
Action - taking the steps to change by actively working on things
Maintenance - continuing to use the new skills/supports to keep that changed behavior/insight
As with most things in life, it’s not as simple as just checking off each step. Many people stop after Contemplation because they don’t have access to resources or aren’t sure how to find out more about resources to help them.
As a counselor I’ve worked with people in each of these stages and, sometimes there are setbacks, sometimes huge leaps in progress, sometimes plateaus. Having to step back and forth through several of the stages is completely normal. Some things that, in my experience, have remained true in for people in each situation:
if I don’t think it’s a problem, why would I bother trying to change it?
sometimes we don’t realize just how much things like childhood trauma, depression, situational stress, etc. can negatively impact us day-to-day
I’ll get around to that later when the timing is better
there is, unfortunately, never going to be a perfect time to start. The longer we tell ourselves we’ll put it off the more likely it is we forget it or drop it entirely
I already read up on ways to work through that
learning about healthy coping skills, reading up on diagnoses, and understanding the physical process are all things that can be really helpful! But, if we don’t implement the things we learn, they won’t make much lasting difference for us. (I can know a vitamin would be great for me, but if I don’t take it I’m not getting any of the benefits)
I’m doing the things they told me to, so it should be fine
it’s great to practice things that are suggested by doctors, therapists, or people in our support system! However, if you keep doing the same things and you’re not getting the relief or progress you want - maybe it’s time to try something new. Just because one strategy works for one person doesn’t mean it does or has to work for you!
No matter what stage you feel you fit into, everyone deserves to have support and guidance when navigating their mental health.
Some of the many benefits of working with a counselor/therapist include
an unbiased professional who is dedicated to insuring your confidentiality
a safe place to talk about your thoughts and feelings without judgement and with someone who genuinely wants to help you meet your goals
support to figure out those goals and how to reach them effectively (we’ll talk about SMART goals later)
someone that keeps you accountable to the goals you’ve chosen to work on
someone with expertise and advanced training in things like depression, ADHD, trauma, addiction, etc. that can guide you in approaches that have helped others struggling with something similar
an avenue to other resources you may never have known existed
consistent validation that, YES, working on these things is HARD and if it’s important to you to work on, it’s important to us to support you with that!
Keep tuned for a future post on the different kinds of helping professionals (particularly in Texas) and the potential benefits of each type to meet your own personal goals.
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” - Henry Ford
TLDR infographic below:
